It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
