Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
