oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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