as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
