I want to walk on stilts...naked
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
