Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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