so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize