You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
