He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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