i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
