I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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