Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I forget how to act sober
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
