im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
