His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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