does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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