I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
