giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
