I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
