i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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