Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize