I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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