kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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