Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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