I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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