I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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