The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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