what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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