I am in a vortex of obligation.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
