I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
