It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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