So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
