Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
