I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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