Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
