I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
