I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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