I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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