Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
