U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize