Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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