no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
