You just made me feel so damn special
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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