Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
