They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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