its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
