You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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