i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
