She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
