It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
