I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
