I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
