I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
