She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
