I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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