I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
