another moral hangover. fuck.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
