I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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