If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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