this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
