whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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