She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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