you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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