so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize