im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
