matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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