SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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