i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
