What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
