Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
